1. Where does your writing inspiration come from?
The same place your questions come from: my brain. Yes, your questions come from MY brain, and there’s something lost in translation, because I’m on a whole other plane of existence to you. And it’s a realm of strippers and icecream and you’re not invited.
2. What would you be doing if you weren’t writing?
Video games and porn.
3. What is your greatest fear as a writer?
That you’ll steal my 10000% original ideas and do them better than I ever could.
4. What is your number one writing tip?
Don’t. Describe. Shit. Let the reader read you mind, it’s what they do.
5. How do you feel about editing?
That’s the editor’s job. I’m a special little snowflake and I will simply email it out to the first publisher I meet over beers at one of my weekly parties and they’ll take care of everything for me and they won’t have to do shit because I’m just that amazing and then I can party it up with a half-naked Kathryn Winnick on the beaches of Greece.
6. Where do you do your best writing?
At your mom’s place. You should call her.
7. Where do you see your writing career in ten years?
Career? Pfft, I just write one book, it debuts at #1 for a year straight, and I never have to worry about bills again because royalties are perpetual and I will always been rich and famous and never have to work again the rest of my life. That’s the publisher’s problem. Me, I just get to feed grapes to a topless model of some kind (wasn’t I talking about someone earlier? I’m too drunk to remember who, but she’s pretty).